same boat....or, working my way out of it.

i'm in some pretty intense cognitive therapy and that has helped more than anything with this...well, bp meds also - the 2 wouldn't really work without each other....

baby steps right? i think the biggest thing that's help'd is understanding or realizing it's only a feeling (or thought) and it's temporary - it can't really hurt you.

when "it" happens, don't run. just sit with it. there's a check list to go thru that i never get right.....physically what is happening in your body - heart rate, pulse, sweat, dry mouth, then try and identify what exactly it is you are feeling (it's usually a whole host of emotions) - don't let that part anger/irritate you, try and focus on calm breathing as you figure it out...when you think you're done that, try and find any memories attached to what is happening.

it took me some time to do this right as i felt like an idiot doing it but the end result has been 2 things - 1 you actually begin to discover the root of some of your problems and 2 by the time you finish doing all this stuff quite often the worst of the feeling/thought has passed....for me that means the god awful panic mode is ShutDown and it's a whole lot easier to not go out and screw up.

this stuff hasn't been a quick fix either....3 years and counting but i am getting better. i used to use every day and i used for one single reason - to not feel. now, i might do a shot once or twice a month and even that is in the process of fading away.