Quote:
Originally Posted by Zaria
So sorry you are going through a hard time Faerie Moon.
This is NO LESS debilitating then cancer or any other horrible physical disease, that's for sure! Because the illness can't be "seen" by others or under a microscope or x-rayed etc, the mentally ill are pretty much stigmatized & neglected in our culture. Certainly,no one chooses it.
Does it help you to vent (write out) your frustrations and angry feelings?
That's what I do when I am angry and it really does help me feel better.
The people in my life that have had mental illness, have (honestly) often been the most sincere and highly intelligent as well. I hope you feel better soon. Don't give up! If you're holding down a job, that in itself is something. It sounds like you are not liking it at the moment, but having a job gives you some power and a purpose. You should be very proud of yourself. (in my opinion!)
 |
Thanks. Well, not writing my frustrations can be very activating for me. It's like reving an engine up. I have to be careful. WIth my racing thoughts and pressured speach once I get going it's hard to stop sometimes. It's better to think about strategies and coping skills than to make lists of the problems themselves. At leas that's what I've found.
I tend to be the arguer that once I start arguing I can't stop. My mind gets stuck in a loop. It's really frustraiting and something I'm working on, it's hard.
having a job is okay and I am proud of how long I've kept this job. But in the end this job mostly reminds me of how I've failed. Because I'm really intelligant and I had a ton of potential and I completely wasted it. I could have done anything I wanted and instead I decided I wasn't good enough to go to college or smart enough or whatever, and instead I didn't do anything and now I'm stuck in this job. And, what's worse, is as my bipolar seems to be getting worse I feel even worse about myself because I not only missed out on my own abilities but now I'm watching them fade away slowly and I try my best with what I have to stay well, but it's hard sometimes.