Hi Grey Matter,

Very simply, no you are not terrible. The loss of a sibling is a terrible thing, and it's understandable for that to consume your thoughts for any given period of time. Everyone heals at their own pace. Letting Go is healthy, and definitely not terrible. You still have the gift of life, and need to be productive and happy to cherish the moments that you have left. You have NOT, nor will you ever forget your brother. But, he would not want you to hold on to the grief day-in and day-out, I am sure. It's hard when a loss occurs near a birthday or holiday, but in time you will learn to use those occasions to mark a celebration of life and memories of the lives of your loved ones. I hope you are able to find inner peace, and not feel guilty for letting your mind wander to other thoughts.