Wow. What a concept. Going thru the grieving process myself at the end of a significant relationship. I came across this and I wondered if I could write a letter to Grief, what on earth would I say? All I could come up with was more questions...

"Dear Grief: Should I judge you as 'bad' or 'wrong' simply because you make me feel, and I mean really, really feel? This isn't some wishy-washy 'ok' feeling, or just feeling a little bit blue, or a fleeting 'something' that passes unnoticed - this is the storm, the assault, filling every corner of me, leaving nothing untouched, the unadulterated rawness of FEELING. Could I know love, and feel love, really FEEL it, without also knowing that one day I may also have to face you in all your complexity?

"If I could choose between a life that had no grief, but also no joy, or a life that had neither of these and therefore had no strong emotions at all - no love, no joy, no sadness, no tears... which would I choose?

"Didn't I wish to fall in love again? Didn't I wish to feel the sweet surrender and to be vulnerable, to feel that connection again, after spending so long without anyone in my life? Yes, and yes, and yes. I said 'yes' to all those things and more. And didn't your spectre follow me around all the time, barely acknowledged, just the whisper of 'one day...'? Yes. And did your shadow remind me daily to love more strongly, more deeply, more openly? Yes, assuredly yes.

"I may wish you could never be, as the tears continue to flow I may hate the feeling of being broken open. Can I still find it in me to grant you the same importance as I grant to love? And can I find it in me to live with the knowledge that your face will be one I'll see again and again? As long as I can still love, so you will always be waiting. Inevitable, inescapable. I may eventually accept you as part of the 'human condition', learn to tolerate you, express you with gusto and feel your full force as you would wish me to, but perhaps never welcome you."