I am not sure why I have never considered medication. I guess I have always been pretty resilient in recognizing it early and doing what I could to address it with other things. I have had a pretty strong support system around me over the years. Usually I could recognize that it was not going to last forever and I would just ride it out and be as mindful as I could be about taking care of myself.

That has been harder in the last couple years. I have experienced a lot of grief in the last few years (including the death of my mother who was a huge support for me), coupled with some big health challenges and lately just other ways that life kicks you in the butt. I think I have got to the point I just can't manage it on my own.

Other than pain medication for my physical health issues I have never really taken a lot of medication. I find that medications and my body don't always mix, and I have definitely placed some stigma and shame on myself for taking psych meds that I had to get over. Still struggling with that occasionally. Reading these forums and seeing all the ways the medicine has helped people has definitely encourages me to stick on this route for a while and find ways to get these feelings back to a manageable level for myself.

I am hoping for a good sleep tonight too. My daughter will be in bed soon and I hope that I won't be long in following her to a restful sleep.