Abuse is still abuse even if it isn't [yet] physical. See the wheel below.

Keep a diary of his threats and the abusive behaviors he displays such as throwing things. If you keep the diary on a computer use a password so he cannot read it.

You DO have somewhere you can go. You can go to a domestic violence shelter. Most shelters have counselors to help you understand your options and when I filed for a restraining order the shelter helped to get me free attorney that went to court with me and they actually used their bodies to block vision between me and my abusive BF.

In the link below it talks about making an emergency bag in case you leave in a hurry (or you can leave the bag at a friend's house perhaps). Things like important documents, birth certificate, ss card, telephone numbers of family and friends. names of prescriptions and some spare meds if you have any, bank account numbers even if they are not in your name, title to the house, et cetera.

If you are wanting or even thinking about a divorce you need to speak to an attorney. They usually give the initial consultation at no cost. It is my understanding that if you have been married ten or more years in the state of California you are entitled to half of everything whether you work or not.

PM me anytime. I was in an abusive relationship that I didn't think I would get out of alive. But I did and I am finally happy with my life.

I don't know how much you drink. I am not being judgmental because I have a rare drink sometimes but it might be in your best interest to minimize your drinking as cops will probably take you less seriously if you have alcohol on your breath. It isn't right but it happens.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support