The problem I see--and maybe I'm misunderstanding you--is that you aren't comfortable with agreeing to disagree. You say you want the T to accept your way of viewing the relationship, but what does that acceptance look like? Can the T make space for the existance of your opinion, while maintaining an opposite view, and acting in accordance with that, and it be ok with you?

I do believe exploring boundaries is about the relationship in the room and about how that relationship echoes past relationships. But that can only happen when the in the room relationship is protected and circumscribed. During the time period of therapy, the T is a T, whether physically in the consultation room or outside of it. Some Ts believe that they are always a T to their clients past the end of therapy even if therapy will never be engaged in again. I would put my T in that group, despite our continued contact. The boundaries have changed, but the relationship is still boundaried. So I expect while a T should be happy to engage with you talking about boundaries, I would also expect them to see that as separate from any changes in actions.