Well, my ex doesn't want me to have to quit pool because he knows how much I love it. So he wants to help until I have some sort of income. I am taking tonight off though. I don't feel safe being around alcohol. Yesterday I was really wishing I could drink an 18 pack. Not wanting to, just wishing I could to numb out. So I'm staying safe tonight.

My internet was in jeoprady of getting shut off but they're going to work with me. I have a week to come up with $60 to prevent loosing net and then not being here. I'm just very overwhelmed with the money situation.

I wish I could just run out and get a job, but my disability prevents finding one easily, and I am the only one who takes grandma to doctors appts and such. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed. I'm powerless over all of this and its hard to not be able to fix anything. Hanging on by a thread. It doesn't help that my medication for the MS is causing a depression. I see my neurologist on the 20th. Will probably have to get on medication. I hope it helps.

I'm using all my tools but unfortunatly need outside help for some of these issues. Just wishing I could sleep for a week and wake up and have everything be ok.

I know it will all be ok at some point, just hard to trudge along until then.