I pay him child support. When he threw the couch, I was about a year into graduate school. When he threw me out, I had finished my degree and had an internship job, but it was only part time and when I went to them and said that I needed enough work to be able to support myself, they fired me. One of my professors offered me full time work in another state at a business that was not run well and didn't treat me well either, but it was a full time job while it lasted (about six months). When I got a job, I sent an email to everyone I knew asking about a low cost place to live. A friend who rents rooms in her basement offered me a place (I only had a 5 hour commute to work but I stayed out there for the days that I was working so I only had to do the drive out and back once each in a week). I'm still living in my friend's basement. I have lived here for three years and have been unemployed two more times including currently. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year and a half ago, so now I know why I struggle with keeping jobs.

If I had ended the marriage when he threw the furniture, he would have left, as he had a job in a different city and I had a good job where we were at the time, and I could have kept the house, kids, and animals. As it is, we moved to where his job was, and he picked a time to end it when I didn't have adequate income, and I did lose my kids and animals. I should have gotten a lawyer, but we had no money and I didn't want to add to the expenses and drag it out, and I have never been able to speak up for myself, so I just signed his paperwork and left with my car and what I had in the car. If your situation is like mine, get support and question everything and speak up for yourself. Even if you don't think that you can.

I have always been painfully shy and had extreme social anxiety. For most of the time I was married, I was very isolated. We lived in a rural area, there was only car and he took it to work, and I didn't know anybody. I was at home with the kids, homeschooling. I went back to school after a severe depressive episode made me realize that I wasn't even really alive. From that point, I found PC, found a job, etc. If I did it, you can too. And even though there are things that I would change, I am better off than I was stuck in that marriage.

Two of my kids are out on their own now. One working, one in college. I see the oldest one fairly often. The middle one is at college about an hour from where I live, and it's getting better with her. She has her dad's temper and has been very angry at me sometimes. But she can be nice when she gets something out of it. My youngest still lives with his dad and I keep trying to get more time with him but he resists, and I'm worried about him because they moved back to the rural area where I was so isolated, and my son has no friends and no interest in anything social and no real initiative. He's autistic spectrum too but nobody wants to listen to me on that so he isn't getting treatment and hasn't been diagnosed officially. My oldest daughter has the dogs and one of our cats, so I get to see them sometimes too. I am not allowed to have pets where I live, and that is painful, but at least I'm not completely alone. Maybe next week or eventually I will have a job, and maybe now that I know what I'm dealing with, I'll be able to find a way to hang on to a job and get into a position to have my own home.