Hi. I've struggled with my eating disorder since I was 15. I'm now 67. I've had periodsof recovery, but it always comes back, and it's been in fullforce for the past 10 years.

I'm watching the numbers go down, thrilled by that, delighted that I'm fitting into ever smaller clothes. I look really thin (so I'm told). I'm small, just under 5'. Sometimes I see what others see, sometimes not. I want to lose more. The doctor doesn't want me to lose any more.

I do eat a healthy diet, given what I eat. I'm a vegetarian. I'm very regimented with my food, panic if I go over my allotment. I'm driven by my "rules" and restrictions.

So there it is. I know better, know what I should be doing, but I don't do it. This is madness.