Hmm, well you're not all gone yet, you still have lots of energy to burn, evidently. I never pretend I'm "ok" around other people, everyone clearly knows something is wrong with me. I just don't have the energy to put on a show or smile.

The black and white is the "all or nothing" irrational thinking, a common thing depressed people have. I used to hate people too, but I adopted a philosophy that nothing is anyone's fault, it is out of their control completely, so hating them would be like hating that the sun exists, or hating water, or something like that. It's irrational, really.

I wish I could even have an unstable relationship. Haha, I think that'd be better than none at all.