in a GOD that you have no proof exsists.

I do not want to start a fight or an argument of any kind. I just have a few statements/observations I would like to make.

I was baptised Catholic, and raised that way for only the first 5 years of my life, until my parents up and moved away from their parents, which I beleive now, any religeous influence was directly from my grandparents through my parents and passed on to me and my sister.

Once we were separted from that, there was no mention of any religious topic of any sort in my household again. I suppose this is where my conflicting views come in. Because of my anxiety, depression and obsessional thoughts keep me from talking in great detail about certain religious aspects for fear of being cursed in some way or another. This conflicts with the other side of me who feels that I should have no fear as GOD does not exsist.

I suppose some of the feelings I do have regarding religion stem from what I was taught as a child, wether good, bad, right or wrong. I feel that that is permanately instilled in me and that causes alot of anxiety for me. It's almost as if I dont want to say anything "too bad" about GOD but at the same time, I am a person that deals in facts, for the most part. So, a huge part of me struggles with realy beleiving that GOD does exist.

How do you know? How can your faith be so strong that you know with out a shadow of a doubt that he exists? or how do you know that you will end up in heaven when it's all said and done? How do you know that when you die, thats it.....your finished...there is no afterlife.

I dunno, I struggle with this. Good and bad. I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but I can not help the way I feel, or think.

Jen

PS. forgine my spelling errors.