Okay I hear you wanting to do something to help yourself. Why not try going into the ER first and speaking with the social worker there? They have many resources and can also evaluate you to see if you need to see their psychiatrist etc. If not, they should be able to give you referrals according to your needs and assets.

If you are not thinking of suicide, there's really no reason to go in at this time imo. The hospital is for stabilizing those who are too close to the edge and can't make good decisions...but yes, those stays are for :linking you up on the outside for ongoing therapy; stabilizing you on psychotropic medications; keeping you safe while they do the first two.

Try to divert your thoughts, in the meantime, away from how bad and desperate you feel. Those are feelings, that's all. Think about how you are functioning okay, what areas...such as you were able to come to this site and post a question with good info. You do have times where you feel bad but are functioning okay. Focus on eating well, taking time to prepare a good meal and sitting and enjoying it as best you can...or in doing a small task you've been neglecting.

You can get through this. You've felt better before and you will again.

You can also go to the APA website and search for a psychologist in your local area Here: Psychologist Locator - Welcome / Text Search