Sounds like you have a lot going on. Have you tried therapy? Of course you are welcome to post here anytime. I have bipolar and can't control it without medication and they have had to try many. Some that had bad side effects or just didn't work. Having trouble right now getting out of my depressed state. Nothing seems to be working. Hope you keep posting if you feel it helps.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha