these are interesting questions i've never been asked before. (i love questions but dont get asked too many.) i thought i'd answer for the heck of it...

1. my father was very loving and showed that he cared about me very much, saying so whenever he could. this got awkward in my teenage years. my mother obviously cared but expressed more jealousy over my relationship with my father than love a lot of times. my parents never showed sadness or anger, with only a few exceptions i can recall. they seemed to keep that pretty bottled up.

2. i never thought about it affecting how i cope today. but it kind of hit me hard just now to think about it. i'm a very caring and affectionate person (probably as a result of that). but i don't deal well with anger or negative thoughts... they're amplified in my own mind and i can't get them out. i can never verbalize when i'm feeling down or low because i've never done it before, i don't think.

3. i haven't had a lot of experience with therapy. but the small amount of time i've spent there, it's been damn near impossible to open up and get out the bad stuff. and it's the creepiest thing... i walk in there on autopilot and then i sit there, not knowing what to say. i don't know how to begin. and no one's known how to prod it out of me yet. i hope i find a T at some point who can help.

...do you have any suggestions?

good questions. they made me think... thanks.

ghost