I think I do. Recently, I've developed this terrible OCD, which requires me to confirm positive first interactions and last impressions from the opposite sex. (I am married so the issue is not cheating - trust me on this). I guess I just have this fear that everyone sees me as a loathsome troll or that, on any particular day, the way I dress is really weird, geeky, loser, etc. I quickly start each day desparately seeking for someone to disprove that and confirm that I am worthy of attention and praise from the opposite sex. If interactions are positive and I can walk away with that as a last impression of the person, to think of them fondly, then all is good. I feel well. If, like today, everyone seems instead to confirm that I am a disgusting loathsome, geek, troll, etc (take your pick), my whole self image collapses and so does my day. It can get to the point where, like right now, I have deliberately made food choices for the day, that I know are directly harmful to me (like food with lots of salt, artificial chemicals (MSG), carcinogenic sweeteners (like aspartame), to try to either say "f- you" to the dark, hateful world, or to try to actually end myself (to say this is something I can still do). I really don't want to be like this. I want to stop playing this demented, incredibly harmful approval game, but I am addicted to it because the prize of approval from the opposite sex, when I do get it, is so sweet and rewarding. (It makes me feel all warm and empowered like I can take on anything and win).

Anyway, I know this "game" has developed into a crippling OCD. (It also attaches whenever I am in any social situation - I have to "win" love from others, and - if I can't - I am thrown into excruciating loneliness, often prompting me to fantasize (but not plan) suicide. Help!!!!