I realize when I talk/socialize I have trouble focusing on my thoughts/speech and analyzing the other person's expressions/behavior at the same time. It creates tremendous turmoil inside me. It's like I'm using two parts of my brain at the same time and it's incredibly hard work, it drains me, makes me irritable and I lose my train of thought. Almost makes me feel like I'm not in-touch with myself. I've been this way since onset of illness at 15. It seems like this doesn't happen to this degree with the average person (which is why I'm obsessing over it). I've brought things like this up to Psychiatrists before and they just gloss over it. I know this is a weird post and I don't mean for it to seem selfish.