Your words, and in fact your entire thread, are triggering to me. That's okay; I need to read the responses too, since intellectually I know what the reality is, but emotionally part of me would express a lot of what you've written.

I think you know that I struggle with boundary issues too, and the seemingly unfairness of the therapeutic relationship. I wish that I could be friends with my T, but I can't because then she couldn't be my T. However, I am not JUST an appointment on her calendar. I AM much more than that! I think I already wrote, if not in your thread then somewhere else, what my first T told me. She said our relationship is different from a friendship or any other relationship, but that does not make it less.
My current T and I have a close relationship but it is limited to our sessions, basically. I know she thinks about me outside of my sessions sometimes, but not as much as I think about her. I'm her JOB, but she cares. People in the helping professions usually care very much for the people they serve. I KNOW how much my T cares about me. She's invested in my growth and healing. She and I share our hobbies IN the therapy room, but not outside. If I send her a photo I've taken, she'll tell me how much she likes it IN the session. If I would see her somewhere in public, I know she'd say "hello"; she wouldn't avoid me, but she wouldn't stand there and talk to me for very long.

The truth hurts me because I feel like my closest relationship is with my T. I have shared things with her that I haven't with anyone else in my life. But she hasn't shared with me. I'm her client, and that's the reality I have to live with. So many clients wish it were different, as evident from reading this forum, but it's the reality of therapy. It wouldn't work any other way.

I'm sorry to ramble on about this, but I feel like I know what you are struggling with. Why not socialize with your T outside of therapy? Why not blur the boundaries? You're both human beings, and you are comfortable with each other. I get that! There IS a middle ground in thinking about what a T is, though. She or he is a special person who can mean the world to you, but you still relate during a limited time, in the therapy room, because that's the purpose of your seeing a T in the first place.

I hope I've made some sense. Again, I hope that you can work these feelings through with your new T.