I've been officially divorced from my immediate family for several years. After my dad died, my mom accused me of stealing things from her and told me I was no longer a member of the family or her daugher. All of my issues stem from her. She directly told me I was "a mistake", and when I did something that displeased her, she'd ignore me, I was the wall, for as much as a week at a time. I was the youngest of 4, my siblings all moved out when I was 9, and I was basically held captive by her. I wasn't able to do anything without her permission, she decided that I was taking too much on the phone and had our number changed...and I didn't know it for several years, I was not allowed to have friends over, and while in college, I received a letter, sometimes two everyday letting me know how horrible I was and that I'd abandoned her.

I know our situations are a lot different. I guess the reason I shared a bit of my story is to let you know you're not alone with parent issues and for them being the main reason for your problems, and while I have no solution for you, I understand.

It's very, very hard to stand up for yourself and be your own person when you've been invalidated your whole life and I get that, but we've gotta keep trying...it's all we've got. I personally wouldn't tell them about the BPD. When I told my husband, he looked at me as making up an excuse for bad behavior.