Just got back from the new pdoc---she seems nice---she apologized for the woman on the phone apparently they are training some new people and she is going to talk with them about it. I think I may have done something bad though---they have a million and one questions about suicide that you have to just keep answering so I have a problem lying and one was really like---have you ever like ever thought about it even for a minute---well yeah when I was really sick I did think about and I had a plan just in case---it was 2.5 years ago so I'm not in trouble but in my file now I have that along with the fact that I would not ask for help because I considered it euthanasia and don't distinguish between physical and mental pain. Then they ask if there are any circumstances that you would consider it again----well I had to say that yeah if I were in extreme mental or physical pain and that I tried multiple medications and therapies that failed I would probably consider it. So yeah now I have all this suicide stuff in my file---brilliant, way to think brain.