This about sums it up: Adult Asperger?s: The Relief of A Diagnosis | Psych Central

The main thing is social impairment. Problems with eye contact, missing social cues that everybody else seems to get. Not knowing how to make friends. Being considered odd or weird by other people from an early age. I always felt like I was different. As a kid, I thought it was because I was short (that was the main thing I got bullied for), but there was a lot more to it. I was always an outsider. In college, my roommates excluded me. I was asking them to help me understand and help me to meet people and make friends, and they refused saying things like "if you don't know then we're not going to tell you." I was strong academically, but disorganized and didn't understand the importance of things like due dates and deadlines. I was in the honors program in my major, and had one of the highest GPAs, but didn't get accepted to graduate school because the faculty said that I was too awkward socially and they didn't think that I should be in a field where I worked with people. They told me to get a second bachelor's degree in engineering. So I gave up for about 15 years.

The other things have to do with unusual interests or perseveration on a limited subject area, and then there are sensory differences and odd motor skills (people always told me that I walk funny, and I was no good in sports - that was another area where I was always rejected). And often problems with organization (I know where my stuff is, but if someone else looks at it they think it's nothing but chaos). As a child, I would freak out if the noise level got too high. It hurt me. Nobody else thought it was worth getting upset over. Stuff like that.

The rest of it is that it causes problems in some area: relationships, academics, work, etc.; and then what it isn't: no language delay, although speech is sometimes different or unusual (a language delay would make it autism instead although in the new DSM there isn't a distinction - it is all autistic spectrum disorder), and cognitive abilities are normal or better (so it is not related to an intellectual impairment).

I hope this isn't more than you wanted to know. I didn't mean to take over your thread - just to encourage you and let you know that you can get through your situation. But if you also have difficulty connecting with people, asperger's may be something for you to look into. And often it is easier to connect with animals because of that unconditional love and acceptance.

Autism/asperger's affects relationships too. It can be harder to communicate what is important to you, and because of that people can get frustrated and treat you worse than they would otherwise, but they are still responsible for their own behavior. They still really do know that throwing things is not acceptable, and they are the ones who did that. My ex refuses to admit that I have Asperger's or that it affects the way that I interacted with him or others. I guess it is easier to maintain that I just have all of these problems because I want to for some reason. He wouldn't consider that the kids are affected either. My ex moved three hours away, near his family, and took my son with him. His family doesn't like me and won't even talk to me. And I have not been able to get any contact information for other people who might be able to help my son. It's a rural community without much available as far as services. I lived there when I had my mental breakdown 11 years ago. Their response was to put me in jail until I convinced them that I wasn't going to kill myself. No follow up after that. I could get a job out there, but I couldn't survive out there if I did. And my family has never bothered to try to make a connection with my children. They live in another state and it doesn't occur to them to try.

Thanks for your suggestions though. There are things that I'm still working on, but I'm a lot better than I was.

If you could do anything that you wanted to do and there was nothing in your way, what would you do?

Rap