I hope you are sure that you are NOT willing to take it any longer....it's sad that we allow ourselves to get to the place where there is irreversible damage done to ourselves before we are willing to put a stop to it.

Sad that children are pushed into the gymnastics competition driving them at that young age & that the diet pills were in your house & were a part of your mother's life or you wouldn't have even known about them at that age. We never think of how we are destroying our own children's lives when we think we are doing them a favor & doing what we think will make their lives worthwhile.....on how sad when parents don't even see the big picture.

I hope you are willing to work as hard at getting back to health as you were to the working hard to allow the anorexia to control your life. Takes a lot of work & practice to change thought processes.....but that's what it takes to get through all mental illness struggles.

Wishing you the best with changing & healing & a successful outcome inspite of the damage that has already been done & hopefully the ability to reverse as much as possible the damage you are struggling with.

I know that when I go for awhile without eating...when I get back to eating it goes through immediately....no need for laxitives...my body does a good job all on it's own.......so I realize just how important eating right & consistently is for our health.

Listen to your MD & allow them to have the control that you need for them to have right now even if it feels wrong & miserable to give up any level of control.....at this point it's the only way to survive.