Oh, it is definitely a secret. There is a great deal of internal effort put in to containing and keeping it. Mostly it works, but sometimes it rears its ugly head. He is right that this is a huge burden on me, and he is also probably right that the people I would tell could probably handle the truth. But I have a great deal of fear and guilt wrapped up in this which is why I'm determined to say nothing. T knows all this and completely understands my views on this. We've spoken about it many times over the years. We've both stood firm on our opinions about it, and that is okay. Like I said, it is something we have agreed to disagree about.