thankyou. I had been going through a lot of grieving. Mainly, because I witnessed my grandma who passed away from alzheimers when I was a healthy child and how she was abused not able to take care of herself still kills me. It's equivalent to hitting my own mother in front of me. It angers me and I know I couldn't do anything bout it, but I don't want to die like that how she did she is a great woman. My grandma should of been a spokesperson for all women, because she deserves everything good that she has received. Also I am going to grief counseling for her and my daughter who was aborted almost two years ago for unexpected health complications with her mother my ex then. I was 18, and yeah I was in no position nor was her mother to take care of her. Plus her mom could of died giving birth was too great it had to be done. I wasn't so upset bout that, but damn all the love I would give her and if I most likely envisioned being a single parent with a little girl I would have to feed and watch over every day to make her life feel like a princess when mine is falling apart. I'd give everything up just for her. I wasn't even joking when people say I won't and not take me seriously. She is my baby I don't care who you are or what you thought of me or my ex. I don't give a damn, my daughter came first and no stupid teen mom stigma BS bout most boys being poor fathers. I am not like that, and I am happy she doesn't have to live with the pain of her psycho mom and me not feeling well. I haven't spoke with my ex in half a year. I just know when this does take me who knows or not. I just know she will be the first thing I want to see after I die. I am going to her first and she will take care of me, because that's what she is waiting to do.