Why not use that energy to do something you would love to do? Do you have a dream? Case in point (I was abused as a child and in a 31 year marriage and then my church voted me out of membership)...I took the "ashes" of my life, wrote about them and won a scholarship and am a sophomore at 67! Of course we are envious of people we perceive as having more than we do, but that is a waste of time (as you know) Perhaps you could be a mentor for foster kids. There is nothing that speaks like experience.