One cannot change a behavior until one knows about it. It is painful to learn and to be in the position of seeing a way of being that one is familiar with but that no longer works for us. I would just start imagining being more assertive and an adult, able to learn to take care of one's self and go from there. Not telling is in the past when one was a child and had no other defenses. Now one is able to not allow abuse in the first place, if only by "leaving" the situation.