So basically you are trying to cheat the system and you want help doing that? Good luck....

OK so society came up with the idea of disability because they care about people---people who are too sick to work. If you had a physical illness that would be it you would simply not work but there is no chance you would ever get better and you have to live with that fact every day. Mental illness is different---there is a chance of recovery, but even if not that there is the chance to harm someone else. I am sure the primary reason they require you to see a psychiatrist is so you don't harm someone else, people are afraid of the mentally ill. However, you have mentioned being homicidal here before. If you are feeling that way at all---you need meds---this is not a normal thought process, it does not just cross your mind that maybe you should kill someone. Meds only work if you stay on them for a while. People aren't giving you free money simply because you exist but in exchange for taking care of yourself. That's how disability for mental illness is different than physical. If you can't take care of yourself you will end up locked up somewhere so that you don't hurt someone else or yourself. There are several mechanisms for this---first the hospital---then longer term hospital---then jail. It all depends on whether you're just thinking about something bad or actually do it at some point. When you visit the pdoc they have an actual responsibility to make sure that you don't hurt someone else or yourself----they have basically two ways to do this---meds or therapy. Therapy has been deemed ineffective for psychosis---its nice, it makes you feel better about yourself but it doesn't work on psychosis or at least has minimal impact. So that means they have one choice and that's meds. Now I know that it's stupid because meds don't even work on like a third of people but if you were a pdoc and you could be held responsible if your patient did something terrible and you really only had one treatment choice---medicine--- then what would you do....you would prescribe meds to cover yourself whether they work or not. What Costello and I are saying is there is another choice----recovery. The meds are having some impact for you even if it is small. There is a chance that you could recover and go down on the dose of the meds or even off entirely. In order to do this you need to rethink why you are going to the doctor. If you are only going to remain on disability it is going to bite you in the butt at some point. The doctors are not stupid---you can only pretend for so long----if you aren't truly motivated to try to get better they will eventually get tired of seeing you. I don't know how it is for you but here in Chicago the doctors tend to know each other and having gone to one of them and being dismissed may lead to others not taking your case. We actually have a shortage of good psychiatrists---neither of my two psychiatrists is accepting patients right now, I only got the second because of a good referral from the first. Eventually you will run out of good will if you keep aggravating and burning through doctors. Doctors want 2 things---1 to keep you from hurting yourself or others---that's critical----2 to help you get better. You pretty much have to give them the first or they will find a way to make you, you have an option with the second, but it is in everybody's best interest that you get well if you can. If you recover then you start to have actual choices of meds or no meds but in a way that society can accept. You might even have a chance at school or work instead of or in addition to disability. So what I think we are saying is rethink how you are approaching the medicine---it is there to help you not to take things away from you. Yes there are side effects---I couldn't read fiction for 2 years and I love to read----but you need to find a med that you can tolerate because this is a long term process----You're going to get the meds for reason number 1---harm but why not make the process about reason number 2---recovery?

Its not like you can just pretend you aren't hearing the voices either---if that were the case then you wouldn't need disability----so basically your only option is meds and the choices you have are what med and whether you choose to see that med as a path to recovery or just a means to get disability.