I would rather not use my full name (I don't know if it appears, hopefully not). I know I might be a little young for maybe using this, but I am 16. Please read all the way before judging me please. Thank you in advance. A little bit about me is that ever since I was younger I have had a seriously hard time trying to trust people. When I was 10 years old I was raped by my neighbor. I was scared to tell anyone because he threatened to hit me if I did. at age 12 I finally told a teacher at school because a kid came up to me and grabbed me and I lashed out because it was like how it happened. My mom and dad are divorced, and so I lived with my mom and stepdad. At my dads house it wasn't a safe neighborhood. His house got shot at and the bullet went right passed me and barely missed my dad. My dad is a heavy drug and alcohol abuser too so he was never reliable. He almost got us killed 8 times in car crashes that were caused because he overdosed. I felt like I was taking care of him and myself alone. At the time I was also dealing with physical and mental abuse from my mom and stepdad. I would get hit, thrown against walls, strangled by being picked up by the neck, told I was useless, and told I was a mistake and wasn't supposed to be born and so much more. I was forced to eat on the floor like a dog because they didn't want me at the dinner table with them because they didn't love me. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I was bullied, harassed and sexually assaulted at school. I struggled with anorexia, and depression. I have psoriasis and at the time I didn't know how to get it under control so it was bad and everyone called me oatmeal head. I was told I could go and kill myself and not one person would care. I was called a slut, a *****, a b word....anything you could think of, it probably happened. I was shoved in lockers, kicked in the back, people spit on me and my lunch. I was shoved down stairs and once it caused me to sprain my ankle and right hand. I felt I had no place in this world. I thought I was crazy, useless, pitiful...I didn't know what love was. I was scared. I was diagnosed with ADHD early (around 5) and they thought I was schizophrenic because I used to see things that weren't there that were trying to kill me. I have been arrested 3 times for running away from home because I was scared if I stayed that it would get worse. My little sister hand me at knife point 3 times because she hated me and said she didn't want me here anymore. After all this for a while, I gave up. I thought no one cared about me so one day while I was vacuuming, I tied the cord around my neck. I was taken to the emergency room, and I had to lie and say I did it by accident because if I said the truth, my parents would hit me. I tried again by overdosing on all my medicines (I was taking Adderall and 3 other pills for adhd, and then abilify for depression), I "fell" out of my 2nd floor window...and several other incidences. I was in and out of mental institutions up until my freshman year when I final found someone I trusted. It was my health teacher. One day a lesson got to me and I told her everything. She called child protective services and family preservation. I got the help I needed. Now my family life is unbelievably better. I actually feel loved. But I still don't know how to talk to my parents about things I need help with. For example, last year, 2 of my friends passed away in a major car accident, and I suffered in silence, and the fact that I need extra help in school because of my extreme test anxiety. I've been told by many people what a joy I am to be around, but I feel like everyone judges me because of my looks, my talk, my everything. So that's somewhat my life story. Sorry for offending anyone, I really really did not mean to, please forgive me if I did.