Yeah the result of me feeling like this, is struggling with grief and fear/anxiety, but the kicker is that I have and neuro knows my brain is degenerating and I am too young to be being this ill and weak. It doesn't affect my mood, like I'll be very sad or depressed or angry for no reason and then because of my symptoms overriding my conscious feelings to things it's very hard now than ever to distinguish what I am truly feeling. It's sort of like you are upset or happy or anything, but actually weren't you know when you get out of the numbing symptoms, but you had no control and do not remember how that happened every time.