I'm hopeless.

If one more person in my life tells me to stop being "emo" and to "snap out of it and just be happy" or tells me that I'm "too hard on myself" and that I keep going over the same stuff over and over again that is wrong in my head ... or tells me I'm being depressed for attention...

I'll snap.

I just one day where I don't feel like I'm going insane (stress, whee being a uni student!!). One day where I don't want to cry for absolutely no good reason. One day where I can be happy just for the sake of being happy, without having to lie and pretend to be happy to make everyone else happy.

I want one day to be really me. One day where the bad negative horrible thoughts don't drag me down into that big dark never-ending pit. One day where I don't beat myself up for ... well, anything.

I wish I could go to bed and wake up and be magically better. But life has pretty much guaranteed that won't ever happen to me.

Sorry for talking so much. I'll stop posting and being annoying and self-centred now.