I laugh at myself when it comes to my startle response. I used to feel really embarassed (and well... still do sometimes) when people would comment on just how jumpy I am. So... I laugh. I laugh and it's usually nervous for a split second but then I calm down.

I'm also really hypervigilant about "changes" in someone's behaviour/tone/whatnot. I just try to remind myself that chances are, they're just tired or preoccupied or something and that it has nothing to do with me. (hahahaha. I say that. But I often fail at believing it!)