I've had two T's and both have been very different. T1 was mostly business and little small talk. I'm not sure how much it was the T's style or me, but I would come in and she would ask "what's been on your mind?" in this hypotonic like way and then I would just emotionally vomit all session until time was up. If I paused and had nothing to say, she'd bring me back to the bad place with some triggering questions. T2's sessions are a lot more laid back. I come in and we will chat for a while before emotional stuff. Sometimes he will make a triggering comment or question, and if I am unable to talk about it without a lot of difficulty we will move on. As a result both feel very different, because with T1 I would often leave exhausted and drained and T2 I sometimes leave feeling great, but that's probably because I didn't spend the last 50 minutes wailing incoherently.

I wonder how much is due to the way I act and has nothing to do with either T. For example, am I allowing small talk to happen with T2 and I didn't with T1? I feel like T2 encourages small talk, where T1 did not at all but then again in both cases I've been happy with the situation as it was mostly. I wonder if T1 would have allowed small talk had I initiated it. I've improved with both T's, but have spent more time with T2 and believe I've improved the most with him despite being in less pain in session, I've discussed more difficult material and have learned more about myself and become more honest with myself. Of course he was building off the prior T's work.