Only part that didn't define the word without the word was the second part haha

T said today that the only memories I have of my own body are sexual because of what's happened to me in my childhood. She said it is like if the only experience I had with her was that one time she scolded me and her intern about a month ago. My opinion of her would be quite negative, but I know her much better than that because we have a much more complex relationship with much more memories than the one time she was a little too harsh. But my relationship with my body isn't like that. I only have memories of trauma with it. And that's why I'm "sexually preoccupied". I don't know how to look at myself any other way but sexually.

I guess her evidence for me being sexually preoccupied before knowing about any of my trauma was that I'd talk about it a lot and when she told me to take care of myself and "do something nice for my body", I gave her a funny look and said "what do you mean? Masturbate?". And I still don't know what "doing something nice for my body" means. She said it again today and I gave her the same answer.