..somewhat. Im so frustrated though. I clammed up like I always do.

Let me first start off by saying that the kind of transference I have is not in any way romantic or sexual. I actually think I would feel better if it was, maybe then I would be able to explain it better and understand it.

Anyway, so I had a session with T yesterday and toward the end I asked her to explain transference. Eventually wshe got me to admit that I missed her over the holidays and she reassured me that it was completely fine. I still shut down on her though. So after a while of trying to coax me into express how I was feeling she asked if there was anyone else that I could talk to about what Im feeling. Right now there isnt and I dont really want to talk to anybody else about it. I don't understand it myself.

I promised to let it out when I figured out what exactly I was feeling. So now I'm desperately trying to piece together why I am feeling the way I feel. T also expressed how important it is to address it so that it doesnt interfer with the theraputic process.

I just feel confused and frustrated with myself. I kind of wished I had not brought it up until I had it sorted in my mind.