I've been with my boyfriend(I'll call him Joe) for 3.5 years (we are both 50). I met him shortly after my divorce following a 22 year marriage. He has been a bachelor for most of his life - only being married once for two short years and no children. He pursued me hard and wanted to get married quickly. I wanted to take it a little more slowly but fell hard for him and was ready to get married after about 1.5 years. By that time, he had decided it was best to wait until my youngest graduates from high school...five more years.

My question concerns his real intentions. I think I was so lonely after my divorce, and wanted to find someone so badly, that I've overlooked a few things that I shouldn't have. First. I make a lot of money about, three times what he makes, and have funded quite a few trips around the world for him. I also pay for meals out most times and just about every other expense we have. He's here at the house on the weekends and I pay for all the groceries and anything else he needs. We spend the days with his nose in the computer working. I kill time until he is ready to maybe go out and see and movie but we never go out with friends.

Second, sexually he's a terrible partner. Joe doesn't seem to know what foreplay is and never touches me, other than my breasts, and rarely if ever climaxes himself. Most of the time, he loses his erection when he's inside of me. If he doesn't, he will pull out and then masturbate until he ejaculates. I tell myself that he's inexperienced sexually. He's quite a book worm and didn't have sex until he was 22. But I also feel that if he loved me, he would want to really make love to me. Part of me, though, believes there just isn't a sexual attraction for him...

Third, I've always been attractive but somewhat overweight. I'm not obese, just a little frumpy for a middle aged women but do have extra large breasts. He's over 6 feet tall, is handsome, muscular and works hard to maintain his body image. I exercise because I have to but still struggle with my weight.

Fourth, my boyfriend has a really bad temper and has lost it verbally in front of my children before. He's only done that a few times and it's been a couple of years ago so they've kind of let it go, but I was embarrassed and see that side of him come out when he gets frustrated or angry with me.

Fifth and finally, my boy friend travels all the time. It's not uncommon for him to be gone all week, come home on Sat night and then leave again Mon am. He enjoys traveling and over the last year or so, he calls less and less and when we do talk, it's a short conversation.

He's not all bad though...he does buy me nice jewelry on my Bday and anniversary's. He can be very sweet when he wants to be and seems to care about my kids.

So I'm very confused. I have spoken to him a few times about the fact that he travels so much and that we don't see each other as much. And when he is around, he is either working or goes on long walks and talks on the phone. He says he's talking to his buddies but for 2+ hours at a time?

I begun to get suspicious that he is cheating on me. He lives an hour away and spends most time there (when he's not traveling) than he does here anymore. Ive caught him in little white lies about things and he claims that everything is fine and that I'm just insecure.

I need someone to help me see this situation straight...am I just being insecure and *****y? or is it time for me to move on because this guy is a free loader? I not getting any younger and really want to find a loving life partner. But I still really love him and want to make it work it if is meant to be....