I have told my T I was dependent on him. He agreed, gave me a big smile and set on fixing the root of the problem. We did some inner child work, which was very helpful and eye opening for me, but unfortunately, did nothing for the transference issue.

So, I have done some further research and realize it may never fully go away. I just need to understand he fills a void, it feels good and I must take the steps myself to let go. This is normal, and from reading all of the posts here and elsewhere I am not alone!

I have sorted out in my brain he is my T and this is it. It will never be more. It is such a hard and difficult thought. He told me this from the very first day, but I had no idea what it really meant. He said he would never be my friend and he was not kidding! Ouch, it really hurts.

Sometimes I am strong, and become the adult. Then, when I get an email or a text from T, I burst out in tears. I am not moved very easily, but this really shakes me! Wow, he thought of me!

I keep saying the same thing in my posts. It is time for me to move on, but I don't think I am quite ready to let go. It is beginning to get painfully obvious in our sessions that the end is nearing. I know, when I do take the step, it is going to hurt for a very long time afterward. Not fun! (I actually did try to leave once, it lasted 5 weeks and I came back to him with my tail between my legs and admitted I could not go it alone)

So, Purple Orchid, I don't know how close your relationship is with your T, but if you are as attached to your T as I am to mine, it won't be easy to let go. But, there is hope. I have read many blogs from people who say, over time, the dependency will fade, and I hope this is true for both me and you.