I tend towards option 1 - pretending everything is fine - most of the time. It was very hard to let go of that in front of my T. When it happened, it was spontaneous, but a very good thing in the end. My T knew that I was afraid of a certain situation, but I don't think she really knew the extent of my terror because I was typically very calm when discussing it, even though I was freaking out in my mind. T caught me by surprise one day and brought up the situation before I was prepared, and I completely freaked out - full blown panic attack and dissociation. That genuine expression of emotion (option 2) helped T to see how much this situation was really affecting me, and it helped her to have a better idea of how to help me.

However, I'm slowly learning that sometimes, a middle ground is necessary. I can't spend all of a session steeped in my emotions, but I can't spend all my time pretending I'm fine either. I try to "dose" my emotional experiences in T - by that I mean that if we are talking about something that is triggering a strong emotional response, I might limit how much time we spend on that topic, or ask T for a break, or ask if we can do a grounding exercise after, so that I'm not stuck in those emotions.