The brain brings up stuff that needs working on. People think they "stuff" thoughts and feelings away rather than think about them but that is actually a defense; they cannot think about it yet because it is too difficult. But when we do think about problems and feel about them, it means we have access and can work with them. We cannot "let go" of things either, we have to work them through. It is a bit like our dreams; if we do not work on issues, they repeat, that's why people get recurring dreams, the mind is trying to help the person work with what it needs to work with. Accepting what is happening and acknowledging it instead of fighting it can help as it is all happening inside us so we are actually fighting ourselves, not the thoughts and feelings or situations from the past. When we accept that at the moment we feel X and are thinking about Y and don't fight it but look at it and see what we can learn, what we can do so things can be better in the future, then some of the "fight" from the other side, the recurring nature and need to increase the pain (so we will pay attention to instead of trying to "get rid of" whatever) will go away and it will be easier for us as we won't be divided inside ourselves as well as have the problems in the first place.