Hmmm ... there are a few things that seem a bit out of place. Thing is, you said he's pretty much a confirmed bachelor. By his age, many bachelors become set in their ways and get used to having their own space so much of this could be old habits from being on his own so much.

As far as the sex goes, I would equate that to two things:
1. Being on his own long enough, he's spent too much time masturbating. He has used too much pressure and now has trouble with the normal woman because you can't put as much pressure on him as his hand can.
2. Again, being on his own he's become a bit of a selfish lover. It's not that he doesn't know what it takes, but he doesn't understand how to tell what's working for you, what doesn't and how to handle it all from foreplay to after sex snuggles.

These issues can be worked through with patience. I would suggest that you make up a list of your needs in the relationship (wants, desires, whatever you want to call them). Then sit down outside of an argument and outside the bedroom and you both negotiate how you can both get your needs fulfilled with both of you compromising to get the most for each other. This way, you can voice your sexual frustrations and maybe get some by-in with him.

The traveling thing seems odd. Does he travel every week for work or something? I'm not an overly suspicious person, but this part almost sounds like something out of those classic Dr. Phil shows about the guys with two lives.