It makes sense to me. After I really showed T my emotions in that one session, it kinda clicked for me that maybe that's why people don't always understand when I try to explain how I'm feeling. I can say it with words, but I don't express it. It's the expression that really helps other people to connect what you're telling them with the emotion and that helps them know how to respond.

It's like, I can tell someone I'm panicking, but if I'm internalizing the panic instead of allowing it to show (usually in the form of a panic attack), then their response is going to muted to match the emotions I'm displaying to them. If I'm visibly panicking, it's easier for the other person to respond appropriately because they have something concrete (other than just my words) to work with.

I don't think your T is intentionally hurting you when he does or says things that hurt, it's just that if you're not giving him something "visible" to work with, he's kind of stumbling around in the dark, hoping not to bump his toes on the furniture. If you shine a little like (show some emotions) then it's easier for him to navigate.