The protection of you and your children is most important. If you don't feel safe, there is a real problem and I would not start running towards it just because you are not sure where you would go from there. Also, there are ways to have minimal contact with him through the divorce process.

My ex-husband was abusive in multiple ways, and he was actually the one to hand me papers, but then started harassing me to sign them even though I told him I would not do anything without a lawyer present because of my situation. I wanted to as little contact with him as I possibly could, and the lawyer made sure that happened. I never saw him during the process, I never had to go to court. Unfortunately, with the children, that situation may not happen, but having that help can definitely help along the process and keeping any unnecessary contact out of the equation.

Just a thought and a suggestion. I really wish you the best, and hope you can find a way to make this all work out in the way that is safe for you and the children.

Healingme4me asked a good question. What about your parents? Is there anything they would be willing to do to help in this situation, since it seems to be quite a severe situation.