I am so sorry for your struggles. Having an ED is not something to take lightly, neither is the thinking that is behind the reason we have one. The ED won't bring you to happiness, but it is will continue to make you feel miserable because of the constant thoughts that are flowing through your head. It is a struggle of mine as well, and unfortunately thoughts still haunt me even though I no longer know they are true. It is our mind that tricks us into thinking it is the way we can achieve what we feel others have achieved with very little effort.

People are *starting* to do more promotion of healthier weighted women, but it is still sparser than it should be. Understanding yourself, as the battle is first with yourself, that it doesn't need to be that way - that people can really love you for who you are, not what you think they want. Anyone who says otherwise is not worth your time or energy in associating with in any way.

I wish you the best, and hope that perhaps a journey to recovery will eventually happen, even if not immediately. It will help you feel better in the long run, I truly believe.