No records are not national or provincial. I never sign 'release of medical information' forms for any doctor and haven't in over 15 years. I refuse to.

I wish the hospital would give me my records so I could burn them.

The problem with BPD is that a lot of psychiatrists think patients who have it are trying to manipulate them or they just want attention. Some don't consider it an illness so patients are blamed for their behavior and are despised by staff for it. They want to get rid of BPD clients ASAP. Psychiatrists tend to be nasty to this "patient population".

Once you have a BPD diagnosis it is nearly impossible to get rid of it. It taught me to lie about my history and not to seek help when I need to.


My hallucinations remind me of the BPD diagnosis. Because I have insight most of the time, which apparently isn't supposed to be possible this makes me question what is going on with me (When I was ill I did not have insight). If I mention this I am scared it will be blamed on BPD or some other PD. My autistic traits make me appear to have a PD, because I am loner who is different and not very expressive. It bothers psychiatrists because I am not the "norm". Why should that bother them? I have no desire to conform. It isn't who I am.