My bf & I have been through our ups & downs. After almost losing each other, I made a conscious decision to work through our problems & out the past behind us. I've tried to be the woman he needs me to be in his life but I feel that he hasn't been the man that I need b/c at times, he doesn't want to compromise. He tells me that he's himself & I can't make him be any other person than who he is. That's true but if he addresses an issue with me, I make an effort to change it b/c I love him & want him to be happy.

He blames me for the past & I have carried a lot of guilt b/c of it. He refuses to take responsibility for his actions & has said that his actions were a reaction based on my actions which to me is a cop out & not true. Yes, I'm not an angel but he has caused most of the problems in the relationship by his selfishness & arrogance.

He quit his job in October due to an argument we had & also an argument he had with his boss. He's been out of work since & I've been handling all of our finances. He's been moody, sad, depressed & withdrawn. I know that this is a difficult time for him & I cater to his needs but I feel that my own needs aren't being met. I feel neglected & lonely. He sits at home all day watching documentaries. He dirties all the dishes, doesn't walk the dog, make the bed, shower etc. I asked him to help me put up my bed frame. He tells me no. He makes no effort to be a partner in my life. I understand depression b/c I suffer from it too so I put aside my feelings most of the time. But I addressed it this morning b/c it was bothers me when he ignores me & I was in tears.

As soon as I began to talk, he accused me of causing drama & not letting things rest. He was angry & said the only thing he wants to do is find work & not discuss our relationship. In the past, he was always open to discuss our relationship & pursued me at full speed. He always expressed his feelings but now he barely tells me he loves me. He seems distant & barely touches me. I don't know if that's b/c he isn't working or if he wants to move on b/c of our problems.

He sends mixed signals. One day he talks about we & us, the next moment, he says I & me. It isn't fair to me to think we have a future if he's only with me b/c he needs a place to live until he saves his $ to move back to Fl. We live together in NJ & he's from Fl. I told him that if he wants to break up, I will understand & we can live together until he gets himself on his feet. I truly mean that b/c I love him & I don't want him to feel obligated to be in a relationship with me just b/c we live together. I'd rather know the truth.

He didn't validate my feelings or console me today. He walked out on our conversation & said I was a trouble maker. I know that isn't true b/c I did not argue. I was nice & loving about it.

Should I move on with my life & let him get himself together & move back to Fl? I'm confused b/c I love him & I'm still in love with him.