I know that the way I was raised, or the relationship I had with my parents at least, has d irectly affected my relationship with my children... for the better. I am very affectionate with them, always hug them and tell them how much I love them, do not use physical discipline(usually!!), and I allow them to be individuals who can make their own choices with certain things, i.e. what they want to wear. I have never had a close relationship with my parents altho it is better now, and I have been determined to ensure that this is not the same between my girls and me. Sorry no advice to give, just that I kinda know what you are saying...