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Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic
Yeah I hate the way they treat BPD----so for me in terms of insight I really had none while I was initially ill---once I got on meds and was still experiencing hallucinations I knew 100% of the time I was hallucinating---its actually way more irritating I have to say. But yeah you can have insight its just that a lot of people don't, its not ruled out or anything.
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This is interesting. If patients aren't supposed to have insight then why do psychiatrists ask them if they are hearing voices?
It is very irritating. I feel like I am being tortured. I really need to get past this BPD diagnosis. It is hurting me. I feel it in my stomach.
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Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster
I'm so sorry you've been going through this didgee, the stigma against BPD is truly just awful and the fact that it's not even the correct dx for you sucks even more. I was misdiagnosed with BPD too so I can relate to some of what you've said, like being taught to lie about your history and not seek help when you need to, oh yeah. Having insight into psychotic stuff, I can relate. I didn't have insight for a long but now I do and it's weird. Like when I'm hallucinating, I know I'm hallucinating and I've had doctors completely dismiss me before because I had insight(that happened this past October/November when I was in the hospital). It sucks.
I don't want you to be "normal", you're an awesome person just the way you are and I'm really sorry you've been treated like **** for so long because people just don't understand.
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How were your hallucinations explained to you during your last hospitalization?
Psychiatrists rarely ever listened to me. Everything was blamed on my apparently flawed personality. They would tell me there was nothing they could do, yet they kept prescribing medication.
I don't go to Emergency for psychiatric reasons at all. I haven't in about 15 years. Presenting to the ER with suicidal ideation without psychosis pretty much guarantees a PD especially if you are an autistic women. The last time I went the doctor was surprised to learn I did not have a reason to feel depressed. Do I need a reason? It was like he was waiting for me to tell him I left a relationship or was feeling abandoned because I got into a fight or something like that. Suicidal ideation related to interpersonal reasons indicates BPD. My psychiatrist told me this.
If you have insight into your hallucinations some psychiatrists will call this dissociation. They then interpret that as poor sense of self in the BPD diagnostic criteria.
I don't split. It isn't in my nature. My relationships (the few that I have) are stable. I am not an erratic and chaotic person trying to fill an empty void.
My biggest mistake was taking antidepressants when I was a teenager and telling them exactly what they wanted to hear, not what I was genuinely feeling. I admit telling the doctors what other patients would tell me. My reason for this was I had no idea what I was feeling and how to describe them. I really regret this and for hurting my family.
I am livid right now. Thanks for putting up with my posts.