This is interesting. If patients aren't supposed to have insight then why do psychiatrists ask them if they are hearing voices?

It is very irritating. I feel like I am being tortured. I really need to get past this BPD diagnosis. It is hurting me. I feel it in my stomach.


How were your hallucinations explained to you during your last hospitalization?

Psychiatrists rarely ever listened to me. Everything was blamed on my apparently flawed personality. They would tell me there was nothing they could do, yet they kept prescribing medication.

I don't go to Emergency for psychiatric reasons at all. I haven't in about 15 years. Presenting to the ER with suicidal ideation without psychosis pretty much guarantees a PD especially if you are an autistic women. The last time I went the doctor was surprised to learn I did not have a reason to feel depressed. Do I need a reason? It was like he was waiting for me to tell him I left a relationship or was feeling abandoned because I got into a fight or something like that. Suicidal ideation related to interpersonal reasons indicates BPD. My psychiatrist told me this.

If you have insight into your hallucinations some psychiatrists will call this dissociation. They then interpret that as poor sense of self in the BPD diagnostic criteria.

I don't split. It isn't in my nature. My relationships (the few that I have) are stable. I am not an erratic and chaotic person trying to fill an empty void.

My biggest mistake was taking antidepressants when I was a teenager and telling them exactly what they wanted to hear, not what I was genuinely feeling. I admit telling the doctors what other patients would tell me. My reason for this was I had no idea what I was feeling and how to describe them. I really regret this and for hurting my family.

I am livid right now. Thanks for putting up with my posts.