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Originally Posted by hannabee
Food for thought, thank you. My daughter is 27 and has an MSN, which comes with some student loans. She has always been very responsible and stood on her own two feet. Right now she makes around 90K a year. Her H is career officer in the Military. Makes about the same.
My Husband and I JUST moved where we are 5 years ago. It is paid for but small. We are not pulling up roots, so to speak, we already did that when HE wanted to.
I have this huge hole in my heart when I am away from my kids. I can't explain it...it just hurts and I am unhappy. So I guess maybe I AM doing this for me too!
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Ah! Got it.
Empty nest... My heart goes out to you. That's a terrible, horrible, empty feeling of loss and uselessness.
Is it possible to reach a compromise with your husband? Perhaps you can have long visits with you daughter on a regular basis while at the same time staying in your marriage and living where your husband wants to live? It isn't like you daughter and her husband can't afford day care for your grandchild. Can you daughter visit you occasionally?
I KNOW that parents and children can manage to live away from each other and still keep in contact. But... it's your grandchild that's causing you to want to move, isn't it? Your maternal instincts are going crazy... and it's tearing you apart inside.
Generally speaking, men don't experience that desire nearly as strongly as women. They just don't. It isn't due to a lack of Love or a failure to care. It has to do with biological differences between the sexes. I don't really know, but I would imagine that your husband is confused about the whole idea of moving 2000 miles to be near your grandchild when, in his mind, an occasional visit will suffice. Perhaps it's a guy thing... but I understand where's he's coming from.
Anyway, I hope you find a resolution to your dilema so that everyone comes out a winner.
Dan