I believe when God wants it to get better, it will. I hold on strong and wont let go. my fear is that ill be rejected in some way. I have been getting better day by day. honestly. maybe a few things bugging me. yeah. but its not things I cant handle most of the time. there were times ive talked to my parents cuz I come home in tears and obviously they look at me and go oh no what now. but I tell them. another thing about me, I don't cry. I find it hard to cry. I feel crying is a sign that my past is getting to me. so if im crying, something had to of set me off....something relating to my past. otherwise, im "fine".
I do belive my parents love me, otherwise, they woulda let me kill myself when I tried those countless times.
And I believe with every problem I encounter, there will be 3 good things to come. I have a positive outlook on life. I believe it gets better always always always. thank you for your support it is extremely appreciated