Thank you all so much guys! Your kindness has made me cry! I don't feel like I deserve your kind words or hugs, but I appreciate them so much. Part of the reason that I don't post much or talk to my parents about this is that I don't feel like I have a reason to feel like this. It's not that I'm incapable of leaving my bed, I just don't see the point. I don't want to exist, I don't want to go outside, I don't want to pretend things are ok anymore. But then I think that I should be ok - I have my health unlike my Mum, I have family support, I have Max, I'm young, I don't have depression or psychosis according to the hospital - I have no reason not to get out of bed and get a job and stop being a burden on my family and society. So I can only conclude that I'm lazy and pathetic and a whole load of other bad things that mean that I don't deserve to exist anymore. And that just makes me cry even more. So please don't be nice to me cos I don't deserve it

*Willow*